8 Books On Grief And Suffering

1. Holding on to Hope-A pathway through suffering to the heart of God by Nancy Guthrie

• Nancy Guthrie writes not as a second-hand scholar on grief, but as a first-hand sufferer. Her book is a real life, up-close depiction of a woman’s vulnerability in the face of personal loss, met with the sufficiency of the Scriptures.
• I found it to be exploring profound feelings not for the sake of raw sentimentality, but rather for the sake of highlighting a rich and powerful Savior. To the vulnerable and tough rhetorical questions on pain, faith, life, Nancy Guthrie answers with the authority and healing strength of Christ, the Savior.

Trusting God when the miracle does not come, when the urgent prayer gets no answer, when there is only darkness—this is the kind of faith God values perhaps most of all. This is the kind of faith that can be developed and displayed only in the midst of difficult circumstances. This is the kind of faith that cannot be shaken because it is he result of having been shaken. (p. 46)

When we come to these hard places, we discover the real benefit of walking with God and pursuing an intimate relationship with him when there is no tragedy driving us to him. (p. 70)

2. What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps (and what really hurts) by Nancy Guthrie

• Often as a spectator to sorrow being lived around me well before it was my turn to pass through it, I felt awkwardly ill-equipped as to knowing what to say, (or not to say), what to do, (or not to do) for those loved ones found in heartbreaking seasons of life. I’d be quick to think or repeat spiritualized platitudes I’ve heard said or read on Hallmark cards—without any further thought of how my superficial words would impact the hurting mind and soul of the griever. This book is like a map, helping me navigate wise speech and actions that will bless those I want to minister to.
• One of the best parts of the book for me are all the raw and honest quotes from men and women walking the road of grief. The book is like a treasured library of hundreds of journaled- thoughts, more like your grandma’s family recipes passed down to you, filled with scribbled thoughts, tried experiences, and victorious insights that will help better approach grieving people without throwing in any more damaging ingredients. Because grief is personal and unique to each individual—don’t read the book as the ultimate authoritative guide of how grief should be lived or responded to. Rather, read it as a treasured nugget of wisdom, shared from various types of grieving people, realizing that your response to grief and grieving people though different, matters. A great read for all individuals!

It matters less what you say than that you say something. (p.20)

It’s not up to you to make the pain go away, even though you would love to be able to do so. Grieving people are not expecting you to make the pain go away. They’re really just hoping you will be willing to hurt with them. (p. 24)

You can’t really compare pain. It all just hurts. (p.28)

3. When God Doesn’t Fix It (Lessons you never wanted to learn, truths you can’t live without) by Laura Story and Jennifer Schuchmann

• The book is a beautiful memoir of Laura Story’s personal life, focusing heavily on her husband’s brain cancer and how this new stage in life is affecting their marriage and careers. Having overcome the cancer, her husband is left with some forever aftermath changes. The newlyweds are learning together this new way of doing marriage—facing difficult challenges and sweet blessings along the way—candidly depicted in this book.
• As a reader, I found the beginning of the book to be captivating through the simple yet gripping writing style. The book picks up in its theological applications as the story builds up, ending with little sermonettes towards its finish. There is a growing transition in the book from focusing on detailing their life circumstances to seeing God in the midst of it all.

 To be better in our brokenness isn’t to remove the brokenness; it’s to remove the selfishness, pride, impatience, or other sinful behaviors we blame on the brokenness. When we stop blaming our situation on the brokenness, we begin to see that the brokenness is a trial design specifically for us…God wastes nothing! (p. 262)

In every trial you experience, he is closer than you ever could imagine. He doesn’t leave us or forsake us. We’re often afraid that sharing our story will lead to isolation. The truth is, not sharing our story leads to isolation. (199)

4. The Scars That Have Shaped Me-How God Meets Us in Suffering by Vaneetha Rendall Risner

• Suffering done rightly will be deep and painful, but also will expose a great and good God! Forwarded by Joni Erickson Tada, the book is a written testimony of Vaneetha Risner’s life, dipped in biblical authenticity and coated with a wise theology of the goodness of Jesus.
• Vaneetha Risner’s simple and yet elegant exposition of her hurts are held closely in the light of the Scriptures. There is a deep sense of raw honesty and vulnerability that teach, contrary to the mainstream stereotypes, that strong Christians don’t have it all together especially through trials. Crying and breaking down while holding onto a sovereignly good Savior is faithful living. Christians should show Jesus even through their suffering. I’ve learned that suffering big meets an even bigger God!

I have since learned the beauty of lamenting in my suffering. Lament highlights the gospel more than stoicism ever could. Hearing our authentic lament can draw others to God in unexpected ways. (p. 33)

Suffering in another human being is a call to the rest of us to stand in community. It is a call to be there. Suffering is not a question which demands an answer, it is not a problem which requires a solution, it is a mystery which demands a presence. (Dr. John Wyatt, p. 131)

Sometimes we need to have faith in the dark without having strong emotions of being drawn to him. (158)

Grace always heals deeper. (149)

5. The Hardest Peace-expecting grace in the midst of life’s hard by Kara Tippetts

• This book is a gem among many books on suffering. Written by a dying Christian wife and mother, the book offers a valuable insight into the mind, emotions, and soul of a cancer-stricken, dying woman. Through her eyes, we are awaken to an inner battlefield of dying saints, made aware of the hardest battles and yet powerful strongholds carrying dying people through their last days…
• It beautifully unwraps faithful steps in the dying journey, the hardest lows and the peaceful highs. Though dying is a universal fact for all, learning to die faithfully is a merciful gift Kara embodied gracefully and genuinely.

The veil between here and heaven is very thin. But it’s a dreadfully painful one. We struggle to see beyond these days and look unto eternity with gladness. God gives us morsels of eternity over here, crumbs really, and we beg for them to remain when there is a feast awaiting us. We beg for scraps when the very best is promised. I look at my beautiful creations of my loved ones and say, “Jesus, You did so well—so wondrously well—can’t I stay a minute longer? “I beg for that, really. But His peace answers my heart that it’s that it’s exactly decided…It’s nothing to be feared. That it is amazing, the story that remains on this side of the veil and the one that awaits on the other side. But I need reminding—constant reminding. This, for me, is the hardest peace. (p. 153-154)

Jesus didn’t have to extend His love. He didn’t have to think of me when He went up on that cross. He didn’t have to rewrite my story from one of beauty to one of brokenness and create a whole new brand of beauty. He simply didn’t have to do it, but He did. He bought me. He bought me that day He died, and He showed His power when He overcame death and rose from the grave. He overcame my death in that moment. He overcame my fear of death in that unbelievable, beautiful moment, and the fruit of that death, that resurrection, and that stunning grace is peace. It is the hardest peace, because it is brutal. Horribly brutal and ugly, and we want to look away, but it is the greatest, greatest story that ever was. And it was, and it is.

 

6. Hope When It Hurts- Biblical Reflections to Help You Grasp God’s Purpose in Your Suffering by Kristen Wetherell & Sarah Walton

• “We have been told that we can do anything, to dream big, because women are strong and capable. But what happens when you are confronted with your limitations in the form of suffering? When you feel weak and weary? Kirsten and Sarah provide hope in your desperation, and they drive us to the cross of Christ, where all our suffering makes sense.” (Courtney Reissig)
• Short, personal reflections that when gathered in the binder of our minds become a most practical Christian theology of suffering for the souls of grieving women.

To suffer well, you will need Jesus. (17)

If the gospel is the fuel for inner change, then suffering is the uphill road we travel on. Suffering will cause us to do either one of two things: to give up on our faith, or to get in the fight of faith. To despair, or to persevere. To break down, or to press on. Suffering exercise our faith muscles, and exercise makes muscles grow stronger even as sometimes they feel weaker. (135)

It is so easy to magnify our trials and to belittle our blessings. (97)

Your suffering is a ministry […] The way you suffer speaks volumes, and it tells a story. Let it speak loudly of the gospel of hope when it hurts, and of the God who brought hope through his sufferings. (91)

Sometimes, we need to stop rowing and start crying out…we can’t do life on our own, and we certainly can’t do death on our own. (74)

7. Searching for Spring- (How God Makes All Things Beautiful in Time) by Christine Hoover

• The writer has a poetic style of writing, witty and rich. Reading the book slowly helps absorb the rich texture of the metaphors, personifications, descriptions, synonyms, antonyms, humor, sarcasm, Bible analogies and references, etc. There is a burst of admiring beauty and grace as traits of God, intentionally noticed in each of the 4 seasons of life: summer, fall, winter, and spring. Christine Hoover wittingly directs our pained souls and eyes through the trial unto the goodness and beauty of a sovereign and merciful God who wastes nothing in our sanctification for his glory!
• Searching for Spring in the dead of our winters is honoring a God who holds each season in his own timing to bring the beauty of loving and treasuring Him despite, and often through, our own sufferings.

Because only a seed that gives itself to be broken open lives again and bears much fruit. (p. 59)

Our obedience must be motivated by God’s face in the future. (p. 139)

8. God’s Grace in your Suffering by David Powlison

• “Sometimes navigating the advice of others while in the midst of suffering can be an added trial. Powlison puts all of that to rest by giving readers the gospel—showing them the firm foundation of the Word. He puts the compass of God’s Word in our trembling hands, and points us to the true north: Christ himself.” (Gloria Furman)
• As a wise counselor, Powlison weaves a tender workshop where suffering and gospel meet, hymns and personal illustrations—all revealing a good God in the midst of our terrible sufferings.

Honesty feels the weight of things that arouse fear and dismay—because fearsome and dismaying things do happen to us. Hardships give us good reason to be anxious, so God gives us better reasons to trust him. (49)

 A sufferer’s primal need is to hear God talking and experience him purposefully at work. (27)

Suffering is both the acid test and the catalyst. It reveals and forms faith. It also exposes and destroys counterfeit faith. Afflictions expose illusory hopes invested in imaginary gods. Such disillusionment is a good thing, a severe mercy […] Affliction presses on unbelief. It presses unbelief toward bitterness, or despair, or addiction, or ever more desperate illusions, or even more deadly self-satisfaction—or to a reconsideration of what lasts. (15)